Finding Roommates/Housemates
At this point, you may have decided on your housing options, and you’re now on to the next challenge: finding the right roommates or housemates! When you decide on your housing options, you should have already asked yourself if you will feel okay with making accommodations and compromises to live with roommate(s) that might not have the same living habits as you. There is a saying that living with your best friend(s) may break friendships. But this and other housing drama can be avoided if you learn to start conversations to set expectations and prevent conflicts.
Where can I look for roommates or housemates if I don’t know anyone in advance?
Try to reach out to mutual friends/connections first as it’s often better to live with someone to who you have at least some loose ties rather than a new stranger.
The best way to find potential roommates & housemates is through school community groups on FB or other social media. Usually, you can search groups by typing your school plus year of your class or “housing.” Community groups are great because you can message people to get to know them and ask questions to see if they are quality roommates/housemates
What are the questions to ask when I’m looking?
Are they an early bird or a night owl? This can affect your sleep schedule if you two are opposites.
Do they shower during the day or night? You might need to work out a bathroom time schedule in advance so you don’t have to fight for the bathroom.
What is their definition of clean and tidy? Make sure you are all on the same page on how clean you all expect your place to be and what the cleaning responsibilities are.
Do they smoke? If you smoke or drink, make sure they are also comfortable with it.
Are they very outgoing and want to invite people over all the time? Make sure to clarify if you feel comfortable with people coming over.
Do they have a significant other or partner who will come stay over often? Make sure to clarify if you feel okay or not for their partner to stay over.
Conversations to have from the start:
Before moving in, try to start a conversation with your new roommate(s)/housemate(s) to get to know them and talk about what type of living habits they have. Use the questions above!
Sync up on what each of you is bringing/sharing with the house so you don’t end up taking up space with double the appliances/supplies. Take a look at the previous article if you need a tip on what shared items to pack for.
Set up a chore schedule for common areas is a must. No one prefers a messy space even if they say they have no preference.
Ways to set up chore schedules:
Make a complete chore list
Everyone should divvy up the list and have daily, weekly, and deep-cleaning responsibilities. Tasks can be paired up so it can turn into a bonding opportunity too, like taking out the trash together with a friend so you don’t have to walk alone.
When assigning tasks, the household can either pick what they feel most comfortable in doing, do a weekly rotation, or randomize the tasks.
Make sure the responsibilities are written down and displayed somewhere that everyone can see and be reminded of.
Work out a plan for accountability. Either assign accountability buddies or have a way of checking completed tasks.
Remember not to micromanage your housemates. You are not their mom and you definitely did not ask to be their mom. Lastly, don’t forget to give appreciation for everyone’s hard work and over-communicating is always better than no communication!
Set the expectation to respect everyone’s space and belongings. Even if you are best friends with your roommate/housemate, you should never wear their clothes, eat their food, and move their things without asking. Always think how it would make you feel if they were in your position.
Set the expectation to respect everyone’s schedule and study times. Make sure to give everyone a heads up if you are to bring guests over. At the same time, give everyone a heads up if your routine is to sleep early or you need to focus on studying for a test so people can try to accommodate in advance.
If something is bothering you, try to bring it up in a constructive conversation instead of being passive-aggressive or ignoring the problem. That is how drama starts!
Not all college dorm experiences live up to your expectations as you see in the movies. Your first college roommate(s) might not end up being your friends for the rest of the college experience, and that’s okay. Sometimes, you end up living with people with totally different personalities or interests. Moving out and living independently is also about learning to be open to new things and how to get along with people. You don’t have to be best friends with who you are living with, but as long as you remember to treat them how you want to be treated and not be shy to communicate, chances are you’ll still have an enjoyable experience.
